Eyewear Envy. They have done a fantastic job but unfortunately I didn't see anything I wanted there.
Luckily, I found a video on YouTube showing how nose pad arms can be added to plastic frames. I couldn't find a local repair shop that offered this service but the company that made the video, All-American Eyeglass Repair, has a fast and convenient mail-in repair service. Not only did they add functionality to my frames, their selection of colored titanium nose pad arms blend in with the frame, making them look like they belong there.
So if you have trouble finding frames that fit - frames that don't constantly slide down your nose or ride on your cheeks - I highly recommend either of the two solutions above.
...Or have someone make you an Opti-Grab a'la Steve Martin in "The Jerk." :-)